Escapism
by mybloodyday
Summary: She believed that all her life is lost, that everything she knew was disbanded and nothing makes sense anymore. For this reason she tries to flee from her problems in order to heal and along the way a relic from the past provides a new perspective on life. HidanXKonan
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** _She believed that all her life is lost, that everything she knew was disbanded and nothing makes sense anymore. For this reason she tries to flee from her problems in order to heal and along the way a relic from the past provides a new perspective on life._

**Main pairing: HidanXKonan**

**The characters of the story doesn`t belong to me, sadly.**

**Hope you enjoy it ^^**

* * *

"We need to break up. "

The statement struck you like a bucket of ice cold water in the face.

When you woke up that morning, you did your daily routine like you always do, not expecting that in a span of a second all of your life will take a terrible turn of events. You woke up at precisely six in the morning as you were always an early bird, gave the sleeping figure beside you a small kiss on the cheek, took a nice relaxing shower, then walked downstairs to make breakfast for two. At exactly 06:30 he came down the stairs, already donning his work clothes. You gave him his mug of coffee (black with two sugars) and the warm smile reserved only for him, the breakfast settled neatly on the table. You ate in comfortable silence as he browsed the newspaper while shipping his coffee then departed for work with a last kiss lingering on your lips.

You expected a warm bath, a satisfying meal and a good night sleep in the arms of your beloved after a day full of stress and workload. Your feet are aching from sitting all day long in high heels and from the tiring walks around the many floors of the Company with important documents which needed to be signed by your higher-ups. You skipped your lunch break in order to finish the paper load which seemed to double by the minute on your desk and by the time those tiresome hours finished you were weary and fatigued and wanted nothing more than to crawl in the comfort of your bed and sleep the stress away. Unfortunately for you, the sweet heaven you craved for is far away from your reaching hands.

And now you stand there, with your coat still in the process of being removed, trying to digest the fact that with only five words your perfect little life is ripped cruelly away from you and it takes all the strength you could muster to keep from falling in a fit of hysterical cries, like in those exaggerated movies you scoffed at, when the female protagonist happened to be in a similar situation.

His face is getting blurred and you`re horrified to feel the prickly sensation in your eyes, signaling the tears that threatens to fall. A shattering sound breaks the silence and with a quick glance you discover that the cause of the sudden noise are your keys which has slipped from your lax fingers on the hard wood floor. Then you realize that you`ve been standing there paralyzed in shock for some minutes and only then you take notice of the tremor in your body accompanied by the painful thuds of your heart.

Blinking rapidly, it takes some time and effort to find your voice and croak a panicked .."W-What?"

Between harsh breaths, the pathetic little voice that fills the air is unrecognizable even to your own ears, but you don`t care at the moment you want to make sure this is just a misunderstanding, that all that running and paperwork got to your head and this is just a figment of your imagination caused by fatigue.

You stare hopefully at his proud frame standing over by the living room, pleading silently with him to negate those distressing words and reassure you that everything is all right and you don`t need to trouble yourself, that this is just a jibe for his own amusement and soon you two will be enfolded in each other arms waiting for sleep to claim you both and face a new day together...but one glance at his lovely gray eyes confirmed your worst fear, the look of pity and guilt struck a chord in your heaving chest and your world began to spin at the sudden revelation. He doesn t love you anymore. And the fact makes you feel as if someone just shred your heart to ribbons with a sharp knife without an ounce of compassion.

_"He doesn`t love me!" "He`a breaking up with me!" "Why isn`t he saying anything?" "Say something!" "Tell me this is a lousy joke!...please.."_

Those thoughts are repeated like a mantra in a panicked rush while breathing rapidly, trying to keep in check those traitorous tears and hold yourself together a little longer.

You try to calm yourself and in order to do that you decide to focus on his face while taking deep harsh breaths of air and you wonder...what has caused this sudden decision? What went wrong with them?

There were rarely fights between you and when one of those occurred, both of you will eventually realize the reason is insignificant and it`s not worth to bicker over it. You both have your annoying quirks and habits and managed to tolerate it and accept it as a part that formed you both as individuals. There were no problems involving money as each of you have steady jobs with satisfying payoffs providing a decent living, unless...Your thoughts took a gloomy path even if you desperately wished to be proved otherwise...

Even you are surprised that your voice is unexpectedly calm considering the storm who struggles inside you and by divine powers you manage to becalm enough to wait with anticipation the fateful answer.

"Is there someone else?" just the mere concept that there might be another woman in his life causes you nausea.

You survey his movements closely. You watch as he swallows in and how he avoids meeting your troubled gaze, choosing instead to glare at the clothes peg seated to your left and you dreadfully know that your suspicions are correct. Now there remains only to wait for the final shot.

"..I`m sorry Konan." comes the apocalyptic answer

The blow to your heart is the most excruciating pain you`ve ever felt in your short life and you can only stare in disbelief at your fiance of three years, at the man whom you shared your bed with, who claimed he loves you with all his heart and wants to spend his entire life with you and you can barely suppress an anguished sob to escape past your trembling lips.

"..How...how long?" this time your voice has a watery taste to it and you briefly wonder why do you insist on torturing yourself with the information that will only put salt on the sore spot. But you harp on because despite the fact that this will surely break you apart in more ways than one, you deserve to know the truth.

For a moment he is hesitating but your harsh glare challenges him to confess everything, to justify his betrayal and cut the last fragile thread which keeps you from crumbling all over the place. You watch in morbid fascination as he runs a hand nervously in his ginger mane, obviously unsure on how to voice his misdoings in a more delicate manner, before releasing a long breath he seemed to keep for a long while.

"I`ve...met her when I`ve had to go on that business trip in New Jersey four months ago."

Your breath hikes at this, remembering how you fussed over him to make sure he packed everything he needed for his stay there and how desolate the apartment seemed to be without his presence. You`ve slept on his side of the bed the whole time he was away, comforted by the lingering scent on his pillow. Your heart gave another painful jolt at this memory.

"She is the daughter of the gentleman I was collaborating with for the project. There were some moments in which we got to know each other better and we just clicked. Believe me Konan when I say that I never wanted to hurt you, it was never my intention! I`ve tried those months to tell you everything because the guilt ate me away and I... "

"So you`re leaving me for _he_r.." your voice sounds hollow and dead when you interrupt his frantic explanation.

He looks pleadingly at you, as if asking you to understand his motives but you don`t give a shit. He just about tossed all those precious years away for a few months idyll. As if it didn`t matter, as if the damage it`ll cause isn`t a serious problem.

You gave a bitter laugh at this, laughter that transformed in guttural sobs you could no longer suppress as the hurt threatening to suffocate you became beyond all bearing. You can`t squash the anguish, rage and resentment lodged firmly in your chest, beginning to be released and you completely ignore the alarm in his eyes when you release an almost inhuman wail at the unfairness of the world.

You sense his approaching figure and you jerk away like a wounded animal when he tries to reach out for you, to soothe you in some way. You don`t want to be touched by those hands, you feel repulsed at the thought of them caressing another woman`s skin, at the fact that he easily embraced you and kissed you and made love to you while simultaneously dating another. He is shouting right now but you can`t hear him over the blood pulsing in your ears and somehow he took hold of your arms, trying to shake you out of your panic attack. And that`s when you snap and you began to flounce with all the strength you could muster and then you somehow found yourself hitting him, punching, slapping anything you can reach and you`re crying loudly now because this is not how it was supposed to be...you were supposed to have your dream wedding in the rose garden when Spring will just roll in and all the beautiful flowers would bloom, there were supposed to attend all your loved ones to the most joyful moment of your life , you were supposed to have your happily ever after and start your own family but this perfect dream was snatched crudely away from you the moment that harlot of a woman appeared into his life and ruined everything.

He is still trying to restrain you but you are too far gone...the affliction is imminent and you`re sure that soon enough you`ll combust from the swirl of emotions raging inside you. How dare he! You had done nothing but love him since the day you`d met him in the sophomore year. All through your high school days till adulthood you had loved him. You had loved him dearly and passionately and God help you, you still do. And he had taken it all, soaked it in before throwing it all on the floor and stomp all over it. You can`t even look at him without being disgusted by how nonchalantly he betrayed your trust.

With a final push on his chest you brush past him and stomp over the stairs to your soon to be ex bedroom, the pressure you put on your angry steps almost breaking your hells. There is a flicker of satisfaction when you glimpse him stumble at the quick jostle from the corner of your eye.

In a second you`re brusting the door open and with high speed you`re reaching for the suitcase seated under the bed that your wrist almost snaps. You promptly ignore all the framed photographs containing happier times which sees so far away right now, choosing instead to make your way over the mahogany closet placed across the room.

The only thought in your mind is to get the hell away as fast as you can from this horrible situation as you grab any clothes that comes your way through angry tears before dumping them unceremoniously in the opened suitcase. Next you`re throwing a handful of jewelries and cosmetics and a few pairs of shoes and scarfs before zipping the bag up.

He`s still in the living room when you storm over with the suitcase in tow, not caring about the racket it makes as you drag it to the front door. You know you have to get out of here before you do something stupid and rash, like hurling the expensive and rare vase he was so proud of at his ginger head. No matter how tempting and satisfying it would be.

You are almost out the door when he calls your name and your whole body froze. It feels almost an eternity before he speaks in a guilty manner.

"..I`m sorry."he repeats

Your eyes snapped shut at this and your insides grow completely cold.

"..Good bye, Pein."

And with those final words you left behind a relationship you had invested everything in, all of your hopes and dreams, your future, your love, your work and your entire being. Tears ran freely over your cheeks as you stumble out of the house into the cold night.

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**End of the first chapter.**

**please tell me if I should continue this or not :)**

**have a nice day!**


	2. Chapter 2

The white curtains of the opened window billow slightly from the wind and the smell of rain reaches your nose as you stare absently at the blank ceiling, amber eyes dilated and unfocused. It started to drizzle a few hours ago and it doesn`t look as if it`ll stop any sooner, not that you mind at all. This is the least of your problems.

The scent and sound of the rain is supposed to make you feel calm and relaxed and you bitterly ponder that its effect is quite opposite at the moment , the dark sky and murky weather being a reflection of the turmoil of feelings battling inside of your chest which leaves you cold and hollow.

You tose the covers off your warm body, feeling the cool wind sweep past your skin, creating goose flesh on the way but you paid no heed to that. Despite the lowering and chilling weather, you can tell that its very early in the morning..you know for a fact because you couldn`t sleep a wink last night, distressing thoughts plaguing you till the point of wishing desperately for a bottle of sleeping pills to knock you out for at least a few days.

As you crane your head to stare at the downpour outside the window, you can`t help but feel unbelievably empty.

Day one.

This is the day one of your new life without Pein.

Predictably, strings of pain crushes your heart for the countless time in those past hours as once again images from the grievous argument flashes before your eyes. You picture his eyes, his facial expressions, your reaction at the horrifying news and the turning points that took place from the moment you ve entered the house till the point of storming out of it.

Your stomach grumbles loudly and you briefly wonder when was the last time you ate something it doesn`t matter anyway, because you doubt that you can consume anything at all without the risk of regurgitating it at the first bite.

It`s a little strange and foolish that you`re still wishing this is all just a hideous nightmare and in any second you`ll wake up in a warm comforting embrace instead of an empty bed from a hotel room that depressingly resembles a cold hospital room. Unfortunately, life doesn`t work this way and you don`t know if you`ll ever get used with the idea of losing everything. You are at the wits end.

You wonder what are you supposed to do now if you should continue to live as if nothing life changing ever occurred last night or withdraw yourself to a cave and dwell the rest of your life like a miserable termite.

Soon, many questions of what if`s assail your brain and you`re convinced that if you don`t get out of this room this instant, you will run amuck from the pressure they put on your fragile state of mind.

With shaky movements you don some clothes on you and before you know it you`re walking aimlessly in the sizzling rain, not a shadow of a ghost in sight.

Taking a deep breath, you tighten the coat around you as you listen to the splashing noises your boots make when you walk through the growing puddles.

You don`t know why but the story of Hansel and Gretel fairy tale randomly pops into your mind.

You remember those times when you were little and your mother used to read it to you before going to bed . You recall how appalled you were at the parents for selfishly abandoning their children in the woods, leaving them to fend for themselves and how they couldn`t find their way home. With a nostalgic smile you recall how your mother had to reassure you with many caresses and tender kisses that she`ll never do such thing to you. You remember how the wicked witch used to frighten you, and in your innocent mind you always kept a small bag full of colorful marbles in your pocket, in case you`ll ever got lost, to prevent an eventual meeting with the ghastly witch.

In some twisted way you feel as if your life transformed into an eldritch fairytale. You were cast aside by your loved one and like the children in the story, the trail of bread crumbs can`t help you find your way home. The helpless feeling enveloped your whole being again at this gloomy thought.

After an hour of moping around through desolate streets, your feet takes you to the familiar path of your working place. Some time ago, you heard that at times keeping your mind occupied is the best way to deal with the hurt and you only pondered about it briefly before brushing it off. But now you plan to test that theory.

You ignore the many stares as you make your way miserably through the lobby, try to ignore your assistant`s not so subtle curious glances when she notices your puffy eyes as she gives you the daily agenda and barricade yourself in your personal office where many documents are in need to be inspected.

The rest of the day passes in a blur. You forced yourself to concentrate on your work, tossing all of your problems in the farthest place of your mind and only the help of three mugs of coffee helped you to stand on your feet.  
Like a mad woman, you poured over contracts, browsed through many papers and completed many documents with only small breaks to go to the restroom or to force down your throat a cheese scone in order to prevent the bouts of trembling from all the caffeine you ingested.

By the time you`re finished with the deed, you can barely stand straight and signs of fatigue are heavily shown. The clock reads 21:00 PM and you vaguely register the fact that your working program ended an hour ago. On auto pilot you manage to lock your office and drag your tired feet to the elevator. Most of your coworkers already departed to their respective homes and you`re grateful for not having to deal with unwanted encounters and intrusive inquiries.

Outside, the rain stopped but the sky is still clouded and in danger of weeping all over the earth. The wind blows harshly over your petite frame, causing royal blue tresses to whip all over your face. As you struggle to sweep away the offending hair, you feel something tangle into it and with difficulty you manage to free your hand form the rebellious locks.

You can only stare blankly at the engagement ring adorning your pale finger when you lift your hand to see the annoyance. The beautiful stone placed elegantly on the silver band is glaring at you ominously and you`re astonished by the fact that, until now, you weren`t aware that you still wore it. The light from the nearby lamppost reflects into the diamond stone, making it glisten in an ethereal way. Many women would think the sight is breathtaking but for you this image is repugnant, only a cold reminder of empty promises and confounded dreams.

In your haste to scat away from the house, you omitted to hurl the expensive jewelry at his face. Remorse grabs at your heart because now you`ll have to cross paths with him someday to return it and the thought of facing him unnerves you immensely. You know that you`ll crumble the moment you`ll met him and all you could think about is how to postpone it.

A bitter taste settles in your mouth when you realize that a large portion of your belongings are still in the apartment you two had shared and the fateful meeting is inevitable. Unless, someone would be kind enough to help you by wrapping up everything and send it to the hotel you`re currently staying at.

The great question is who would assist you in this?

Only a certain person comes to your mind after some deep thinking.

* * *

When you arrive at the familiar house, you have to wait only two minutes for someone to respond after rapping three times on the dark wood. The door is abruptly opened by a grumbling figure and you`re instantly hit with warm air and the sweet smell of something being baked from the inside.

The woman`s annoyed expression immediately altered into one of alarm once she spotted your haggard form sitting in the doorstep and she quickly ushered you inside. You quietly apologize for intruding at this ungodly hour and gratefully accept her offer of warm tea. You`re still shivering a bit from the chilly wind and some warm liquid will do you good.

Sitting on the comfortable beige couch you silently marvel at the homely atmosphere the living room emanates, the only noise disrupting the peaceful silence being the rattling of china coming from the kitchen. The sweet aroma wafting under your nose and the many cozy cushions surrounding your form makes you drowsy as weariness finally reaches you. You were almost lulled into a realm of dreams when the sudden noise of a tray being placed on the coffee table startles you awake.

The offered cup of tea is accepted with gratitude, being pleased that you can finally enjoy the dulcet taste of cinnamon on your tongue.

"What happened?"

You slowly lower the cup to your lap when the question is uttered, suddenly the tea having a rancid taste and you lock eyes with the rose haired woman seated beside you. Before coming to your friend you had everything planned out in your mind: tell her the whole story and ask her nicely for aid then go back to your hotel room and be dead to the world till the next day. But now you`re at loss of words and you don`t even know where to start. As if you`re resurfacing from a pond full of chilling water which numbed your senses, the reality of the situation finally registers to you. The veil of forced ignorance which protected you a little longer from the foreseen pang that you were aware it will eventually come is lifted from your eyes and the shock of it shatters you all over.

"..We..broke up.." you manage to choke out,tongue feeling like sandpaper.

Hearing yourself state this aloud is having a greater impact than you imagined and you can already feel the familiar sting in your eyes, signaling the incoming tears. Fighting to keep them at bay you stare miserably at the shocked face of the other woman.

"What?..Why?!" she sputtered, already setting her cup on the coffee table so she could shift her body to face you properly.

You don`t know how you manage it, but through harsh breaths and a few escaped sobs you recount everything that took place in the last thirty eight hours. She listens to you in stunning silence, her expression growing scandalous with every word you utter. Perhaps it`s the fact that you can finally confess to someone else and not carry the burden for yourself that triggers those treacherous tears and you can no longer hold them from falling over your pale cheeks. You attempt to blink them away but those blobs of salty water carry on falling. Funny, you thought that you cried yourself dry last night but it seems you still have some to spare.

Your friend senses your distress and snaps out from her shock fast enough to wrap her arms around your shaking shoulders. Only when you feel her comforting touch you realize how much you longed for a compassionate hug in those lonely hours when nobody was aware of the drama twirling around you.

"That fucking son of a BITCH!"

The churlish words doesn`t create you any sort of discomfort when usually they would bring some deep reprimanding from you. They seem so trivial now.  
Too wrapped in your suffering, the sound of hasty footsteps nearing the living room doesn`t register to you and only when a deep voice cuts into the silence your become alert of the third presence.

"Is everyth-..Konan?"comes the same voice, now totally confused

You jump away as if you were stricken to hide your blotched face from the newcomer and you immediately begin to wipe away at your dampened cheeks even though your attempts are useless seeming that he already got a glimpse of your visage. Mortified for being caught in such a degrading state you conceal your face under a veil of blue tresses, not being able to look him in the eye without feeling like a sad excuse of a woman. Tayuya? he questions the other woman when it became clear that you`re too ashamed by him witnessing your vulnerable moment to say something.

"Do you know what that fucker did?!" starts the female seated beside you, never being one to disappoint

"He fucking fornicated with some brainless bimbo!" she spat outraged, the remainder of his misdoings making you cringe.

Sensing her mistake, the rosette looks at you apologetically before standing from the couch and moving with purpose in the direction that leads to the front door.

The sudden movement is enough to snap the dark haired man from his daze at the unexpected information to stare at her perplexed.

"Where are you going?" he asks, being taken aback by her strange behavior, the long braid already disappearing from site.

"To give that scumbag a piece of my mind! Where else?" she snarled from the hallway, already putting on a maroon trench coat over her sleeping clothes.

"Don`t you think you`re acting irrational?" the man tried to reason with the volatile female, knowing how her infamous temper got the best of her, at the same time hurrying after her to stop her from doing something fatuous in her rage.

"IRRATIONAL? The only one acting irrational is that stinking piece of trash!" she bristles angrily at the calm man who by now is clutching her arm to stop her movements.

"It`s not wise to take action when you`re driven by anger. Rash decisions could only worsen the situation." he explains gently

Much to her displeasure, his words were entirely right and her fierceness already started to falter. But this didn`t stop her from scowling at the tranquil man for always taking a right view of things. As much as she loved the man, his ability to always keep a clear head and be reasonable even in the most difficult situations annoyed her sometimes.

"FINE! But I can`t guarantee that I won`t punch his lights out the moment I see his ugly mug!" she storms back to sit on the couch after disposing the coat in a nearby armchair, a visible scowl plastered on her lips.

"I really wanted to pound his stupid head in the ground.." she mumbles dejected

All the while you watch in paralyzed silence the spectacle unfolding before your eyes as waves of guilt washes over you for selfishly ruining their peaceful evening with your burdens. Driven by desperation you didn`t even consider the fact that you may create discomfort in their peaceful abode. With this thought in mind you rise to your feet, prepared to take your leave .

"It`s getting late and I must be going. I deeply apologize for intruding like this." you mutter quietly, the sincerity being clear in your voice.

A swell of satisfaction grows in your chest at the fact that you managed to speak without stuttering like a blubbering idiot, excusing yourself with as much dignity you could muster.

Seeing you walk away, the female shots from the sofa alarmed ,her feet immediately following after you.

"And where do you think you`re going?" she asks bewildered, looking at you as if you`re sprouting mushrooms from the ears

"Where are you staying?" she adds as an afterthought

Sighing helplessly, you decide that it`s no use to hide this from your friend, seeming that she`ll find out eventually.

You try to ignore the new dose of abashment prickling mercilessly over your form as you inform her of your temporally habitat in a voice devoid of emotion. After proposing to you three years ago, inebriated with love and beatitude you agreed hole heartedly to sell your apartment and move in with him. It was a thoughtfulness decision from your part. But how you would have known that in the near future he`ll crush you with his infidelity? At the time you were convinced that his love will not perish, that you two are destined to be together and only death will separate you. To be so na ve and give your trust so freely was the stupidest thing you`ve ever done. You presume this is what you get from seeing life through rose colored glasses.

You watch resigned the dumbfounded expression on your friend`s face, waiting for the explosion to happen.

"You can`t be serious!" she sputters "Why didn`t you came and stay with us in the first place? You know we have a spare bedroom for you!"

You smile sadly at your friend`s visible concern, knowing you have to refuse her invitation, not wanting to be a thorn in her side.

"It doesn`t matter Tayuya. Now if you`ll excuse me.."you make a move to leave but a sudden grip on your arm prevents you from doing that.

"I refuse to let you live in a matchbox for God knows how long!" she replays stubbornly while tucking insistently the sleeve of you jacket. When it became apparent that she can`t sway you into changing your mind she turns aggravated to her silent companion, her black eyes blazing with vexation.

"Tell her _Itachi_!" she demands completely miffed and you`re slightly surprised by her vehement reaction.

The sudden feel of a hand touching your shoulder reassuringly jolts you awake from your wonderment and you slowly lock eyes with a pair of bland onix eyes. Even though he doesn`t speak too much, Itachi always has that calm aura surrounding him and he sported the amazing ability to make you feel comforted in his presence.

"You know she is right. You don`t need to trouble yourself further then necessary when you know you`re always welcome to our house."

Being touched by the truthfulness of his words, you can only stare at those calm eyes as he waits patiently for your answer.

"I don-.."

"For God`s shake woman! Just accept the room and stop being so pigheaded!" came the exasperated voice of the rosette, and before you could open your mouth to say something she hastly cuts you off.

"What kinda friend do you think I am if I`ll let you go through that door? I don`t do this from obligation Konan, I do it because I care for you."

She looks at you sadly and this time you don`t have the heart to refuse her anymore and with a slow nod you let her know of your decision.

Later that night, Tayuya leads you to the guestroom and after setting a pair of pajamas at the foot of the bed she lets you alone to do your nightly rituals with a quiet "Goodnight" .

After taking a quick warm shower you tiredly put on the borrowed night clothes then proceed to crawl into the comfortably looking bed. The moment your head hits the pillow, you sink into a deep dreamless slumber.

* * *

**To be continued.**


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